What Birthday?

So I need your opinion!

Apparently I am overreacting!

Last Thursday was my Birthday, and my husband asks me "Do you want something for your Birthday?" now my immediate response is "ARE YOU CRAZY?!?! Of course I want something!" but I can't say that because I would hope that after 13 years he would know that I want to be spoilt on my birthday without being asked if I want something. So I politely responded with "Well, I would, but don't stress too much about it. I realise you are busy". To which he responds with "Ok, I owe you one!"  Now I walked into my laundry to fold some clothes, all the while thinking about the different ways I can kill him without being busted. But I shook it off, and decided that he is just pulling my leg and I will be woken on Thursday morning with breakfast in bed, a beautiful card and a thoughtful present! Of course if history is anything to go buy, then I was being SUPER optimistic!

So the day has arrived, it is Thursday morning, my Hubby wakes our daughter up (good start), gets her dressed (great effort) tells me he is going to work and is doing to drop our daughter off at my Mother In Laws, and they leave. NO MENTION OF MY BIRTHDAY. Ok, I can deal with this, the surprise will come tonight. 

7pm I drive to my in laws house to have dinner together before coming home. I arrive and get birthday wishes from my in laws, still NOTHING from either my husband or daughter. That's ok, they are saving it for when we get home, it will be more special then. We get home, I pop my daughter in the shower, then send her to her dad while I have my shower! I put my PJ's on and head out to the Lounge room with a big smile on my face, because surely now is when I get my long awaited surprise. I am greeted by my husband watching his favourite TV show, and my daughter has been put to bed.  I say goodnight and go back to my bed. DAY OVER......

....not quite! I march back out to the Lounge Room and tell my husband that I am really disappointed about my very lack luster birthday, to which he tells me, I told him not to worry about it, and it is not fair that I am overreacting about it now. 

My instincts tell me to go to the kitchen, get the cast iron frying pan, walk back over to the couch and smack him one on the head. Obviously the law would suggest this is not the best course of action, but surely if I had a panel of wives on the jury, they would all find my innocent!

When did I stop existing???

This is question I ponder on quite a regular basis. Does becoming a wife come secretly with a CTR+A  Delete button, where everything that makes you tick is erased and your sole purpose in life is to become the person your husband wants/needs you to be.

What happens to the characteristics that make you you? Are they shelved to collect dust for all eternity, replaced with this new and 'improved' version. 

Why do you all of a sudden feel guilty for doing something that you really love (but doesn't contribute to the daily running of the household) instead of making sure everything is ready and running smoothly in your husbands life?

Here is the quick snapshot of my story:

I will be turning 31 in a couple of days.

I had my first serious boyfriend from 16-18.

I met my husband at 18 (he was 21 at the time)

I got married at 23 after 5 years of dating.

At 25 we started trying for a baby.

At 27 after much drama my 'angel' daughter Grace was born.

My career path has been in Human Resources.

So now you know the important bits. I told you about my work to give you an idea about my intelligence level. Just in case some of you are already thinking I might be slightly crazy. Believe me, I most certainly have those moments. Sometimes I think, if the Kardashian camera crew was in my house filming my day, it would look like a reality show based in a lunatic asylum.  That being said, most days when everyone is keeping their inner diva at bay, it is a nice quiet, well functioning household.......except (and back to my original question)  why did I stop existing?

Don't get me wrong I fully appreciate that marriage is the union of two individuals, becoming one, both making sacrifices and compromises to ensure a happy peaceful environment..BUT and yes it is a big but; I can't help but believe that most of the compromise and sacrifice is coming from the female side. Of course men sacrifice acting on their urge to sow their seeds, and spending too much time with their mates at the local watering hole. Alright, I am sure there are more things, but that would be working against my argument. 

I ponder as to the reason behind this lob sided deal. Is it because of some expectation that society has formed and taught us over time? Is it our mothers and grandmothers who tell us that "He is the man, you have to let him be in charge" and "Men need to feel like they are the boss" etc. Obviously there are many influencers here, and with the feminist movement making its slow hike up the mountain that is male rulership we shall once again regain our rightful place in our equal in size throne next to our husbands. In the meantime I will continue trying to 'retrieve and restore' the deleted data!